Bystander Intervention: Responding to a Disclosure when the Survivor is Not Near You

 “Hello there! I’m here to provide you with a bit of information on the things you can say or do to help a survivor when you receive information (via remote means or telecommunication) that an acquaintance or loved one has just encountered any form of  SGBV or violation.  I would like to remind you that suggestions on this post should not be taken as a one-size-fits-all approach. What the survivor is  undergoing after having confronted a traumatic experience is normal. What you are going through while supporting a survivor is absolutely okay and typical too!  If you need additional resources or just someone to talk to, feel free to reach out to The Neeti Project."

(Image Source: Zee news)

What is SGBV? 

• SGBV is short for Sexual and Gender-Based Violence

What is a Sexual Violation? 

A sexual violation is when one person makes sexual advances towards another person, such that the person who is at the receiving end of the sexual advances, feels discomfort because their personal boundaries are being invaded. 'Sexual violation' is an umbrella term and the term 'sexual violence' can be categorized under 'sexual violations'. Sexual violations do not involve consent. 

What is Sexual Violence? 

Sexual violence is when a person forcefully engages in sexual behavior with another person or attempts to receive sexual acts from another person through compulsion, force, or violence. Sexual violence does not involve consent. 

What is Gender-Based Violence? 

Gender-based violence is when a person or group engages in violence against another person or group because of their identified gender. It also refers to how certain genders are more prone to being targets of violence because of their gender. 

What is a Disclosure? 

A disclosure is when a person conveys a certain private or secret information to another person or a group of people. In this instance, the private or secret information pertains to the sexual and gender-based violence or violation the survivor confronted. 

Prior Preparedness for Receiving SGBV Disclosures:

1. Keep your mobile phone battery charged at all times. Inform loved ones and acquaintances to do the same. 
2. Keep back-up chargers or portable chargers at all times. Inform loved ones and acquaintances to do the same. 
3. Prepare a friend and/or family contact sheet in case of an emergency. Inform loved ones and acquaintances to do the same. 
4. Program a list of emergency contacts in your mobile phone. Inform loved ones and acquaintances to do the same. 
5. Save helpline numbers on your mobile phones. 

Responding to a Disclosure When the Survivor is Not Near You: 

Emergency situations: 

1. Contact the emergency resources in your area immediately and provide them with details you are aware of. 

The DO's in Non-Emergency Situations: 

1. Use text, social media, or email to contact and stay in contact with the survivor. 
2. Reduce phone brightness, close phone applications, or switch on airplane mode on your device if this does not hinder your connectivity to the internet. 
3. Ask if the survivor's safety is at risk. 
4. Ensure the survivor is safe while they are making the disclosure. 
5. Ensure the survivor has reached a relatively more comfortable place to communicate. 
6. Ensure the survivor is making the disclosure from a safe place. 
7. Ensure the survivor has privacy in that place. 
8. Alert family or friends about the survivor's situation so that they are aware and provide additional help.  
9. Keep phone calls with the additional support network (friends and family) brief so that phone battery does not reduce in case the survivor wants to contact you. 
10. If feasible, encourage the survivor to meet you, ask the survivor where you can meet them, or encourage the survivor to go to another formal or informal support network for additional assistance. 

The DONT's in Non-Emergency Situations: 

1. Avoid making voice calls to the survivor because you can experience network congestion at a crucial time. 
2. Withstand operating games, videos, music, etc. until you are sure the survivor is in a safe space as this could drain the technology's battery and increase network congestion.

References: 

Federal Communications Commission. (2011). Tips for communicating before, during, and after disasters. Retrieved from https://docs.fcc.gov/public/attachments/DOC-309723A1.pdf

The Centre for Sexual Violence Response, Support, and Education. (n.d.). How to respond to a disclosure. Retrieved from https://thecentre.yorku.ca/how-to-respond-to-a-disclosure/